Ex-Husband

Meet Dale*. Dale and I met, the way many New Yorkers tend to meet ---, nowhere near sober drunk at some bar. It was during the awesomeness that we call March Madness, Round 2. (For those who aren't big sports fans, that is the beginning of the tournament when there are games on pretty much all day, which is a good enough excuse to drink all day.)

The Meeting: After a long day of enjoying the beautiful March weather, my friend Vivienne and I decided it's time to check the scores and have a drink! We went to The White Horse Tavern, and after a few beers these boys started shooting the shit with my friend and me. They were fairly entertaining for the moment, until I realized that one of them was extra cute and way tall -- all in all not too shabby. The two of us started talking and totally hit it off! He demanded that he see me again, and started referring to me as his wife.

Over the next week, everytime Dale and I had talked we referred to each other as husband and wife, so we made plans for that Friday. As the joking guy that he is, Dale had suggested Joshua Tree, since I lived in Murray Hill and he finds it hilarious since he is slightly older. As many people know, Murray Hill is the place where the post college/still in college kids go to hang out and/or live.

The Date: The date was amazing. We all know those words do not come out of your mouth often, if ever. We talked about everything from politics, to movies, to dating. We even had the same dating attitude: There is no need to rush into something good, if there is no "conversation" had you aren't formally together, and rules are meant to be broken. He was funny, witty, smart, and oddly enough good looking!

5 hours later, we both decide we had enough to drink. We had talked about the movie crazy heart, which I happen to have on DVD, he had suggested going back to my apartment to watch it. The smart thing to do at this point would of course to say no, because who brings a guy back to their apartment on the first date! But the date was going SO well, and we were just having a grand old time, so I ignored my instincts and brought him back to my apartment with me. 3 minutes later, we we were making out. You know it sucks, when you like a guy, you don't' want to say no, but you you know what you're doing is wrong?! Yea, clearly I let my wrong take over. Needless to say the night was fun and hilarious, yes hilarious. The sex was great but the company was even better.

The Next Morning: We spent time in bed, hanging out, talking, ya know, post coital what not: no awkwardness whatsoever. As we both realize that it was almost noon, we both have our "oh shit" moment, and remember we each have our won set of plans. That's when he said he needed to talk to me. Did he have such a great time he wants to ask me out on a second date already? Is he married (because...been there..done that.)

Dale: "Do you remember our discussion about 'the conversation?' You know, the 'are we or aren't we boyfriend/girlfriend.'"

Me: "Yes.' (I clearly remember stating that unless the conversation is had, you're just dating.)

Dale: "Well I've been seeing a girl closer to my age, and we're dating. But we haven't had the conversation, so I don't feel guilty about anything that went on between us."

My jaw drops, I become the fabulous ice princess that I can be, and I play it cool.

Me: "Ok, thanks for sharing?!"

Dale: "Well, I just though you should know, because when you get to my age, you'll want things. You know, this girl and I are the same age, and she's looking for something real, something a little bit more serious."

-At this point I gave him a hug and told him to have a nice day.

This was the day he became known as "ex-husband." Who does that?! Why in his right mind would he share that kind of information with me?! On the bright side, I knew we weren't going to be dating (first date, apartment, although boys claim that it doesn't really matter--BULLSHIT!) On the other hand, why in the world do I want to know about the other woman he's dating or that when I'm older I'll want something serious? Listen up boys, I may be 26, and I may not be looking to get married tomorrow but it doesn't mean I'm a dirty little hooker.

Well, ex-husband and I are still "friends." I mean let's be real, who passes up a hot guy and good conversation? Although he's kind of an asshole, the sex is great. Beggars can't be choosers and for the entertainment value, no one is begging or choosing here.